Human Aren't Plants

Me: "Louder!"
8th-grade boy: "Louder... What a weird word... It's like if someone's name was Lou, it would be like, 'Lou, DER!!!'"

Me: "What did you have for lunch?"
7th-grade boy: "Ham and Cheese...What? Don't you like Ham and Cheese?"
Me: "I'm a vegan... I only eat plants."
7th-grade boy: "So nothing that even comes from animals, like milk or eggs?"
Me: "Yes, exactly."
7th-grade boy: "So no fish?"
Me: "Fish aren't plants."
7th-grade boy: "OK. So you might as well be a cannibal and only eat humans."
Me: "Humans aren't plants."

7th-grade boy: "Is it make fun of [John] day?"
Me: "No, it's make John better day."
7th-grade boy: "When will it be accept John the way he is day?"
Me: "This isn't personal.  It's my job. I'm paid to make you better at the saxophone."
7th-grade boy: "But don't you get paid either way?"

8th-grade girl: "I eat when I feel scared..."
8th-grade boy: "I crawl up into a ball when I'm scared..."
Me: "You, scared??? Never!"
8th-grade boy: "Oh, yeah I am... like when I'm at home and I think of zombies."

Ta-Ta-Ya

Me (talking to someone else): "We should play that Ibert chamber piece with sax... harp..."
Junior Boy: "What's a sax-harp?"


Me: "I'm going to say something harsh.... You're playing like a--"
Senior Boy: "Girl?"
Me: "No! I'm a girl and I play better than you! I was going to say 'wimp'... Don't be sexist.."
Senior Boy: "I'm not sexist... I LOVE women..."

8th-grade boy: "I wrote in the dynamics on the lyrical etude... but they're hard to read.... because I wrote them in with my left hand."


8th-grade boy: "Do you know Chris? [another student]"
Me: "I've seen him around."
8th-grade boy: "He's a background person."
Me: "And you're a foreground person?"
8th-grade boy: "Yes." 

Me (singing articulations to him): "It goes ta-ta-ya-ta-ya-ta-ya-ta-ya."
7th-grade boy: "So do you want me to tongue when you say ta or ya?"